Mortified

Birthday rant, be warned:

So it’s my birthday today. I’m now 27. You know, the age by when I should probably have a paying job and be living by myself and all that crap. So I’m sensitive and living in a foreign country working at a job I like but don’t get paid for.

And I have a boyfriend who’s been traveling for the last 10 days, and before he went we had this awful talk where we decided to not stay together once I go back home, in 3 months.

Anyway, it’s my birthday and I’m expecting a call or a text from him, since we’re not gonna see each other today. He calls me around 2:30 pm. To chat, for the first time in I don’t know how many days because he’s on his way home from his training that was taking up most of his time, that’s why we’ve hardly talked lately. I ask him if there’s anything else he wants to tell me. It takes him a minute, then he says “shit I forgot it was your birthday, my bad”. I say yeah. And by this point I’m so hurt and upset I can barely talk to him anymore, so I go back to work.

Later I text him to let him know I’m upset. Because he complains I don’t communicate what I’m thinking and feeling. He replies saying he was calling me because he was on the road so he finally had some free time to talk. Still no apology, mind you.

After about an hour he calls, I’m still hurt and he says he doesn’t know what to say to make things better. I tell him “really? You don’t know what to say when you hurt someone’s feelings?” - to which he replies he doesn’t like being forced to say he’s sorry.

At this point it’s like…. No…. This can’t be really happening, can it? I mean really?

So we stay in silence for the longest time while I’m on a crowded train trying not to have a private conversation or cry in public. After we hang up I text him explaining that and saying how I haven’t been feeling like he loves or cares about me lately and that people who don’t even like me have wished me a happy birthday and he’s my boyfriend and it’s not supposed to work like this.

And I send the texts.

To my boss / person in whose house I’ve been living for the past 9 months - on accident.

So now I’m sad and mortified.

Yes, this is my ridiculous birthday tale.